After feeding the animals we had to make breakfast before we got ready for school. My dream was to become a nurse or a police officer, but at the age of nine my life became a disaster.

I was forced to sleep with my stepfather. We had to sleep with him by turns. My sister and I were very close. We used to hug each other and cry. I told my sister I would like to run away. Mrs. C. refused to sleep with Mr. c., so the girls had to sleep with Mr. C. Sometimes we used to stand in front of the sink to wash dishes and Mr. C.'s hands were always under our clothes. Sometimes we used to pretend that we were sick because who wanted their turn? Nobody. Mr. C. used to drag me by my foot in the night just to sleep with him.

My life was in a hole. I went to school, but could not concentrate. Everybody in my classroom found I was different, but I only cried. I just cried.

When the situation just started I felt it was wrong, but after a while I thought it was right. I could not learn anything at school. We were not allowed to have friends over or to go visit anyone else. What did I do wrong? I am still searching for an answer that I never find.

When my Mr. and Mrs. C. got a divorce I did not understand why Mrs. C. had us suffering so. My sister and I ran away to go back home. We were no longer welcome. At the age of fifteen I had two children. Sometimes I think we were searching for a safe place inside the mind. Some people find a safe place inside their mind.

My brother became an alcoholic. I hated myself so much that I was always running away. When I was sleeping my father was always there. I had no regrets the day he died.